Not too long ago, a writer friend opened up a discussion in our group about sharing vulnerabilities in our writing. The conversation struck a nerve with me and my mind has mulled the topic in the background ever since.
Lately I am finding my day to day writing stilted and somewhat boring even to me. I don’t want to just share knowledgeable facts and information. I want to dig deeper into the real issues that plague all of us writers in our craft. There are plenty of fascinating stories trapped inside my skull begging to be shared. Yet I find myself unwilling to put them to the page, unsure of sharing them with the general public.
These raw, untapped emotions bubble under the surface, and I find myself afraid of the eruption of hot lava that would pour forth. Plus, I consider my own personal boundaries. Not everything is shareable with the public, and I’ve yet to draw those lines for myself.
Yet, something in me begs to explore, begs to close some doors, and open others. A part of me wants to leave some things where they were, in the past, but they don’t seem to want to stay there. So I sit in quandary, day after day, staring at the white brick wall on my computer screen or distracting myself with social media.
I’ve recently begun to compromise with myself in order to resolve the issue. I’m starting to experiment with my own writing, behind closed doors and away from the public eye. I’m not ready to share quite yet, but that’s okay. I don’t have to.
I had discovered that when I approached this personal writing of mine in exploring vulnerability with a publish button in view, I would freeze up. My mind would race with the words, but my fingers would refuse to budge.
So I’ve decided to dig in private, knowing no one will see a word. Where all of this will lead, I really don’t know. I get an overwhelming sense of adventure, and I’m starting to feel eager to begin my quest.
I wonder how common of a thing this is for writers out there, struggling to explore their vulnerabilities in their writing and finding themselves afraid to open themselves up to the world. Does this resonate with you? If you are finding yourself in this same dilemma or have experienced it in the past and overcome, please share your experiences, thoughts or helpful tips in the comments below. Let’s get this discussion started!
Vulnerability should be a four letter word Valerie! : ) Being vulnerable is excruciating for me, and I used to avoid it like the plague. But now, it’s more of a tool. I’ve discovered that being vulnerable shows people how you are on the inside. If someone can relate to me, they’re going to open themselves up to me. When they open themselves up, I can help them. But it all starts with my own vulnerability. It doesn’t come easy. I really struggle with it all the time, but the more I practice it, the more people open up to me. I had to change how I viewed it. I dreaded it at first. Then I started viewing it as more of a tool, something positive. When I changed my idea of what vulnerability is, it made it a lot easier to practice. I hope this makes sense.
Vulnerability is life changing . . .
I’ve mockingly called myself the “perfect princess” because it’s always a temptation to portray only my best side. But, after two years of colon-related illnesses/surgeries and all the yuck and gore and candid conversations that take place because of the job done by the colon, I now find myself getting impatient with surface-level writing. I want to delve into the psychology and the spirituality of life and I want to find connections with other people — and those don’t happen when you talk and write about surface-level stuff.
What excites me: I’m going to be leading an in-person workshop, once a month, following the book Writing to Wake the Soul: Opening the Sacred Conversation Within my Karen Hering.
Definitely! When I journal, it just flows: emotions, pain, joy, all of it. When I sit down to craft a story, I don’t have an idea in my head. What comes out sounds like I’m two or three (or more!) layers removed.
I’m experimenting with lifting paragraphs from the journal wholesale and inserting them in a story. But they need to be molded to fit and it’s slow going.